A few things we need to get straight. If you want to be a surfer dude, you’re going to have to learn how to surf. There’s no way around it. Otherwise you’re just a dude. Not that it’s so bad being just a dude, but it means you’re only half a surfer dude. And no one should have to live with that. I’m going to tell you where you can learn to surf so you can add the surfing part to the dude, but first you need to do some homework. Top of the list is to watch Jeff Bridges play “the Dude” in “The Big Lebowski”.
True, Jeff Bridges doesn’t actually surf in the movie, which is why he’s only a dude, not a surfer dude, but Bridges has the attitude down. He’s laid back, ultra cool, nothing fazes him, and most importantly, he wears shorts. If you want to be a surfer dude, start wearing shorts today and don’t bother taking them off. Surfer dudes wear shorts year round, wherever they live. And start wearing sandals too. Surfer dudes wear sandals out of principle. If they must wear shoes, they wear Sanuk shoes, which are sandals disguised as shoes.
So now you have the attitude and the wardrobe, but where are you going to learn how to surf? You could go to Dubai to the Wild Wadi water park, where they have two artificial surfing machines, but no one’s going to call you a surfing dude after you’ve ridden two feet of artificial wave. Sorry, not going to happen. You can take lessons in Waikiki, but paddling out to the surf is exhausting. And I’m trying to make this fun for you, not, like, a punishment thing. What you need to do is go to Southern California. Malibu is rocky, so that’s out for now.
Venice Beach is a pretty cool venue, but parking is expensive, and it’s a long walk with your board to the water. Manhattan Beach is too tricky for your first time out. Dude, enough already, just go where I went my first time. I’m talking about Seal Beach, dude, which is about 45 minutes south of Los Angeles. You’ll recognize your instructor by the long waves of blonde hair crashing down on either side of his face. That’s his truck by the beach that says “M&M Surf School”. His name is Mike, and he’ll set you up with a wet suit, suntan lotion, and surfboard, and he’ll go right into the ocean with you, just like he did with me. If he’s busy, his son Mike Jr. will be your instructor.
For lessons, call 1-714-U-GO-SURF. Ask for Mike and tell him the surfer dude sent you. He won’t know who you’re talking about, but at least he’ll take your call.
By Peter “Surfer Dude” Meech
When Meech, an ex-pat Canadian, isn't surfing, he's writing movie scripts in Los Angeles.
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